For anyone who has been in a long-term relationship, it will come as absolutely no surprise that relationships are hard work.

They take time and effort to really feel invested, and what’s more, putting in that time and effort needs to continue throughout the entirety of your relationship, or you’ll likely see your partnership plummeting.

Why Do We Want Relationships That Are More Intimate?

In the context of our society, intimate relationships seem so difficult to achieve. It can be demeaning, unrewarding, and most importantly, not something that we are “supposed” to accomplish. 

It faces a lot of stigma and criticism.

Sex is the result of intimate relationships, and it’s something that we’ve been socialized to do “when we’re married.” 

So why do we choose to have sexual relationships with other people? Why don’t more people pursue them more often, and, more importantly, how can we make sure that these relationships are successful?

Make Your Relationship A Success

We value romantic love as some sort of divine imperative for human beings, as though it is something special or rare, and learning to express it and deal with it is a difficult task.

If you’re trying to build on the intimacy and deepen your connection, invest in your partner and consider exploring these questions with your partner.

How Much Effort Should We Both be Putting In?

In general, relationship problems are just a matter of people not being willing to put in the effort. There’s no need to beat yourself up over the fact that you are not currently in an intimate relationship. 

All you have to do is learn how to deal with your inner workings in order to find someone that supports your life rather than detracts from it.

What Is A Realistic Intimacy Level For Us?

A lot of times, people will settle for whatever they can get. The problem is that they’re not getting what they want, and it’s showing.

If you get nothing else out of this guide, at least try and cultivate the following mindset: if a relationship is not satisfying to me right now, I will not stay in it just to “make it work.”

For example, you might be someone who is happy with everything being soft and gentle, whereas your partner wants to explore Strapons and bondage. You’ll need to find common ground that will keep you both satisfied in the bedroom.

When Will We Have Date Nights?

When you’re in a relationship that requires you to take your partner out on dates, there should be a fairly decent amount of planning.

It’s best to plan around things that are likely to happen, such as movies and dinner reservations, but also not force them too much. 

Not every date needs to be planned out with a series of logistics or chores you’re doing for each other. You can go for a walk or just hang out at home for date nights if it keeps the spark alive. It’s important that you have at least one regular time that is just the two of you.