If you’re in a long-term relationship, you know that love means constant ups and downs. Of course, it has its marvelous bright sides, but it also means a lot of hard work, dealing with jealousy outbreaks, emotional baggage or trauma. A healthy, mature relationship requires not only love, but also tons of responsibility, loyalty and devotion.
Unfortunately, the reality proves that it’s hard to keep this hard work balanced between two people. Many times, one side of the relationship feels like they’re working hard to keep the relation healthy and full of love, and meet all of their partner’s needs, while the second person…. is just there.
Do you also feel like you are the one that constantly keeps giving but loses its own needs in the meantime? Luckily, there is a way to finally get what you want from a relationship without hurting or ignoring your partner. If you want to get to know our secret to a happy relationship with your special someone, keep reading.
Be Open, Not Submissive
To keep your mental health in its place, you need to give up the idea of agreeing to everything your partner wants. Remember to be open but not submissive; listen to their ideas, but don’t force yourself to fulfill them if you don’t feel like it.
Think about your sex life. If your partner has sexual kinks, you are in no way obligated to get involved in them if you don’t share their interest. To have healthy and enjoyable sex, you shouldn’t force anything or act like things are good when they’re not.
If a couple doesn’t sexually click, it’s not the end of the world; these days, many gadgets can help a person get sexual satisfaction without putting too much pressure on a partner. If your partner is into certain sex toys or positions and you’re not, you can get them an erotic gadget or even a sex doll. This will make an excellent and healthy gift for your partner, and it will take the pressure off of you. One more note: to purchase a good product, make sure you get the gadget from the trusted source that offers only body-safe toys. This can be https://www.siliconwives.com or any other certified manufacturer.
Remember: you and your body don’t owe anything to anyone. Always do only what feels right to you.
Get to Know Yourself Better
Building a stable relationship requires a solid foundation. The foundation, in this case, is you. When was the last time you thought about your passions, drives or interests? To be able to communicate your needs to your special someone, first you need to make sure you know yourself and your values.
Take some time just for you – figure out what kind of romance feels right to you, what you really require from the other person, and what your dream vision of your shared life with them looks like. You can start writing a diary to note down your feelings at certain moments or make an appointment with a therapist who may help you discover you and your path.
Remember – pleasing your partner is only possible if your needs and requirements are clear, and you’re happy with yourself.
Discover Your Worth
One of the essential things in life is self-love. It might seem like a catchphrase, but we assure you that starting to love yourself will change how you see the world and how the world sees you.
If you don’t respect and value yourself and your time, people – even your closest ones – won’t do it either. Constant agreeing to everything will never get you in trouble, but it also won’t help to make you feel valid and equal in a relationship.
To discover your worth, look for something that you’re good at. Maybe you can find some hobbies or take up a new job opportunity, or perhaps you would like to learn a new skill?
In the end, it’s all about proving yourself that you could do whatever you decide to do.
Gaining confidence in new areas of life will give you an emotional boost that you need, as well as the feeling of power and confidence. As a confident person, you will no longer want to conform to anything, knowing that only you can make decisions about your life and can do whatever you want.
Bear in mind that even as a self-confident person, you can still make your special someone happy – but this time, with established boundaries and expectations.
Have Your Own World
Although spending every day with your beloved does signalize that your bond is strong and solid, it isn’t necessarily healthy. When it comes to relationships, the experts always recommend both people to have each a separate world that would be just theirs.
It’s not about leading a secret, second life with someone else; instead, think in terms of having your own circle of friends or your unique passions. Sharing every aspect of life feels great, but in the long run, it negatively affects both the relationship and each person’s mental health.
Forget about being half of the apple; in reality, you should be one, complete, whole by yourself. This way, you will respect yourself and your position in the relationship enough to set boundaries and clearly communicate your needs.
New Chapter, Same Relationship
Relationships are not easy. But what is even more challenging is learning how to put yourself first. Maybe you’ve been taught in your childhood that it’s egoistic to put your feelings or needs above somebody else’s. If that’s the case, put those teachings out of the window, and learn a new mantra: your life is only about you.
People, relationships, friends – they all come and go. What will always stay with you, is… yourself. Don’t waste your precious time trying to make others always happy – instead, make you happy. Equipped with our tips, you may now start your self-discovery journey. Good luck!